Dr. J replies:

I would encourage you to trust your feelings…that something powerful happened between you. On the other hand, you don’t know this person, and you don’t know if “falling in love” is something that he wants, at least at this moment in his life. Never underestimate timing. The fact that you got so attached so quickly does suggest that you are needy. I don’t know if he registered that and felt overwhelmed. Sometimes people can pick up implicit demands that are never put into words.

On the other hand, there are people who seduce others as a way to entertain themselves and feel empowered. If this is the case, the sooner you know it the better. Many factors make someone unavailable emotionally, at least at a particular time. People who have not fully mourned a prior relationship may “bolt” when meeting someone with romantic potential. You letter suggests that part of why you are feeling terrible is because you have no clarity. You don’t know why what happened happened. You can call him and attempt to get more clarity, but his precipitous departure does not bode well for a constructive conversation. Life is full of mysteries both wonderous and perplexing.